Happy people habits: find something good in everyone
Hate is such a big word. To truly hate someone takes a lot of energy and all it gives you is poison in return. To truly hate a person for who they are or what they did, or continue doing, can consume one’s entire existence while having zero effect on that someone. It can take you over and make the best of days seem wrong and joyless. If you let yourself waste time on people who you dislike by even giving them a corner at the back of your mind you waste the precious space for feelings of content and happiness. There is only that much real-estate in your heart and filling it with negative feelings towards someone leaves no room for anything else.
The less time we spend minding someone else, someone else we despise, the more time we have to enjoy life. After all, there are very few people in the world who truly deserve hate – and even then, it’s giving them too much credit, thinking about them. Having no emotions for someone who has done you wrong is a better option in any case. It’s even better to turn your negative emotions around, turn them into pity or acceptance. It is even possible to turn them into respect if you try hard enough.
There is good I everyone. Some just tend to have more than others but there is something to be found in every single individual, something that can be admired. You may not like what they do or how they do it but you can admire their courage to do these things or their determination. There is always something you can find too, to help you develop tolerance and, even, a certain amount of respect. Why? Because the alternative will harm you more than it will harm them.
What we feel affects us, first, and then it also affects people around us when we lash out – and we do lash out eventually. Negative vibes tend to affect only those who care about us – people we care about. And if left untreated it can spiral down into an inflated issue where there wasn’t one to begin with.
If you can’t find something good in someone, forgive and move on. That’s the best way to rid yourself of these needless emotions. The moment you do you’ll feel happier. And it really doesn’t matter why you had them in the first place – how you feel will only hurt you, no other; by feeling anger or hate you only let them hurt you more.
There is a good exercise for letting go of such feelings towards people around you: find one good thing about them, just one – and hold on to that thought. Every time you feel anger or disdain towards someone go back to that thought, a positive thought about them and see the negative feelings vanish. It feels like a breath of fresh air, truly.
The fewer people you feel upset with, or things for that matter, the happier you’ll feel. Negativity tends to pile up and unless you actively let go of it, let it drain, it’ll boil on to the surface and lead to all sorts of things you might regret in the future. With very few exceptions, there is good to be found in everyone, always something to be admired or, at the very least, respected and accepted. – from Neila Rey